Lord, prepare me for marriage

Before I moved to Austin, I never had a great example of what makes a good marriage. I never had the solid foundation of unconditional love, and so, I’m very scared. I know I can do this, and I know I’m in love, but what is unconditional love? and how does marriage make use of it? 

Since moving to Austin, I’ve done a lot, but one thing I do daily is observe. I soak it all in like a sponge, hoping to wring out all the good observations over my life. The same holds true for marriage. Though I’ve only been here six years, I’ve observed the marriage of my new mom and dad, my friends and other newly-acquainted family. I look for the little nugget that keeps their marriage going and take it in. I hope after the wedding that I can use those nuggets as tools for my own marriage. 

I value tradition but I don’t have any of my own, yet. I never grew up with them. I hope to start a family of my own and make our own traditions. I’d like to change the way marriage is viewed in my previous family. I can only pray that I can reverse it all and become successful. One of my biggest fears is being doomed from the beginning, being doomed by my previous life. 

Luckily I know if I have faith, pray and trust in God these observations, hopes and dreams can one day come true. I hope on our Wedding Day that I can stop living in fear that this is all a dream - all of it: Austin, my new family, my love - and awaken as a person reborn, just as the day I was baptized and made my life-long commitment to follow the Lord. This is my prayer. If you’re reading this, I’d love your prayers too. Thank you.